Hello, we haven’t talked for a while!

tumblr_mheuxpyDU91qadjzuo1_500

Guess what, besides this post, there is only one other draft in my drafts folder. I cannot remember the last time this has happened. It is scary and it means it’s time to return to blogging. I actually feel quite refreshed and have some fun blog post ideas rolling around in my head.

It feels like its been a really long time since I’ve sat down and just talked about my life and what’s been going on and what I’ve been learning/dealing with/handling or the fun things I’ve discovered. So, we should do that now. Hello everyone! Let me bring you up to speed!

tumblr_l769meQ8TP1qb51b0o1_500

Let’s talk about the web first: If you didn’t notice, I made a new page ^above^ called Elsewhere, because I’ve really branched out on the internet this year. This summer I branched into Twitter. It’s a challenge to fit what I want to say into 140 characters but I’ve been making it work and I’m really glad I joined. I’ve also brought my empty and old Pinterest account to life. I’m not addicted to the whole ‘pinning’ thing yet but I’ve found some good stuff on there too, so it’s been worth my time.

I have joined the amazing film-focused website Letterboxd and it has been the most amazing thing ever. I’ve been able to keep a ‘dairy’ of what movies I’ve watched on what dates and have a watchlist and made lists of my own. I’ve discovered some great films on there too. If you’re a film junkie I’d highly recommend checking it out and maybe joining. This summer I also released my Tumblr site to the public. I’ve kept my Tumblr pretty private for the past couple years. However, I decided I just didn’t care anymore what some people would think and so you can go check it out if you want. (Get the links to the above and more on my page Elsewhere.)

large (61)

Moving on from the internet: I feel like I’ve done a lot yet nothing the past few months–that’s a strange feeling, lemme tell you. 😛 Lets recap some random stuff.

With a high note, I’ve watched a lot of movies, cut my hair, and got to go on a vacation all by myself. I joined Netflix and found that it is worth every single penny that I’m paying for it. I love having my own room again. After a month break I’ve started walking the neighbor dogs again, as the weather is finally becoming beautiful. I’m now mildly addicted to temporary tattoos because they look awesome. I’ve doubled my personal movie collection this summer, buying such titles as Transformers, Inception, Cars, Beetlejucie, Prince of Persia, Sweeney Todd and more.

While I haven’t done that much reading *sob*, I’m trying to get back to writing fiction. I published a short piece of fiction (I mean short, it is just over 300 words) on Booktrack for a contest and had a blast doing it. I’m now plotting out a horror story for another Booktrack contest–hey, good experiences and a chance to earn money by doing sometime I enjoy is not something I’m going to ignore. And I’m panicking because NaNoWriMo is around the corner; I’m totally wanting to do it but I have no idea what I want to write. Should I come up with something completely new or do I try to bring one of my simmering ideas to life. I don’t know. Like I said, I’m panicking. And on top of it all I STILL WANT TO IRON OUT MY LAST NANO BOOK. *hysterically runs in circles* So that’s my writing life right now…

f7b7fef051afedc9d1b5086576342334

Family life has gotten better the past couple months. My sister and I went through a withdrawn spell for a while but we’ve gotten a bit closer recently and that’s been really nice. My little brother and I get along very well; I can’t believe he’s going to be seven in a couple months. My relationship with my mom has never been stronger; she’s really let me feel emotionally free to start making some of my own choices and is trying not to be judgmental of those choices, and it’s really made me feel like I can be more honest and open with her. And with divorce proceedings moving forward and getting dad to move out, the stress levels in the house has dropped very dramatically. It’s like I can breathe again.

tumblr_lx8fy17Q5C1qi1a41o1_500

However, on a low note, near the end of summer I had to make a hard choice. My dad sent me, out of the blue, an aggressive letter that just ruined all the positive feelings I had been trying to build over the summer with him. I had been trying to just let the past be the past and move on to just do some fun things with him like go to movies and go out to eat.  But the letter just sent the relationship back to square one, which was just extremely frustrating to loose all that time and energy I had invested. Even though I felt crushed and was very mad, I dealt with my anger and after trying to talk to him about it, I made the choice to break complete contact with him. Since then, I have noticed A TON of my stress has gone completely away. 

Moral of this short-now-long story? Please stand up for yourself. It will NOT be easy but it WILL be worth it. (I want to again thank the few friends I contacted that day to pray for me when all this went down-you know who you are-it really helped to know you guys were praying for me and I’m so thankful for your friendships.) I’m glad I had the courage to stand up for myself even though it was scary and he was very intimidating. Since then I feel more confident and a lot more prepared for a next time I need to get away from an unhealthy or bad relationship. It’s just really sad that my first experience had to be with my own dad.

829ce94386209f58e9076efa8897cd18

I’ve been learning more about myself and how I should be embracing “me” more. It’s going to be a little harder than it sounds; my Mom recently told me that she thinks I’m unknowingly depressed, which is kinda true now that I have thought about it. Seriously, I’m an ENFP, I should be a lot more energized then I am right now. Sorry, some of you are probably wondering what an ENFP is so let me step back.

Out of the sixteen personality types of the Myers-Briggs personality test, I came out as an Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling Perceiver, or, ENFP. (A counselor graded my responses, so this is quite legit and not something I did on my own on the internet.)

What the heck does ENFP even mean? Here, these should answer that question.

1b4500fcaae4fe6782e48f396a15f2eb

2f5c330466949977c3931be7d62f20ee

tumblr_mt6u68DjOZ1qkzx40o1_500

tumblr_msomprgGa21qkzx40o1_500

305b2794cdb3f0d945050820d769dc03

cdc01d3082219685f3513e5bd72cb6dd

ae64dc6261260efde7870d076e76fd8c

I am like this in tons of ways (this easily shines through here on my blog–because this is my domain, “my house of peace and zen.” Sorry, Transformers quote there.) But the past few years here in the harsh reality of living in a very unhealthy home, has really made me more quiet, more scared, more distrusting. Three to four years of constant stress really has made me depressed, and I only realized I’m a depressed person this past week.

This is a good thing, that I keep discovering problems. It means I can fix what’s wrong and move on. I need to learn to deal with my depression and learn to become more like how God originally made me to be. More carefree, more outgoing to strangers, more imaginative, more confident with giggles and following the bunny trails again. And this should be easier to do now that my home is a much more stable and healthy environment.

Knowing who I am deep inside will really help me in the future.

large (28)

So, that’s what I’ve been doing and dealing with and thinking about and writing about right now. It feels so good to have gotten all this out onto a post; I’m so looking forward to getting back to more spontaneous blogging.

After all, spontaneous is my middle name.

Lots of love to all you readers; I’ve missed this. I hope you missed me too. 🙂

~Jamie

Advertisements

21 thoughts on “Hello, we haven’t talked for a while!

  1. I followed your Printerest, although I don’t really use the website that much. I believe I have followed/liked/whatever the heck you are suppose to do, all of your websites that I have accounts with. 🙂

    Anytime I have less than 200 drafts (I currently have 457) on Blogger is panic time for me. lol Although many of the posts need to be rewritten, will never be completed, or ones that where never intended to be posted.

    While I have never been through an official personality test, I am definitely not a ENFP, although from what I have read before somewhat, it would seem women are more likely to be an ENFP. I am an introvert for sure, and I suck at socializing, unless I am on the internet (Skype) or talking to the extremely rare person that is interested in things that I like, which almost never happens with the exception of talking to Rebecca.

    I continue to pray for you to get through this tough time in your life. I hope things will continue to become better. 😉

    -James

    1. Thank you for following me on Pinterest, I shall follow you back. 😛

      200 POSTS IS PANIC TIME? Good heavens! 😛 Although I do believe since you have a much stronger blog topic to keep up with. 😛

      A lot of women have the F-Feeling but sometimes not. Both my mom and sister are completely opposite from me and are introverts. 🙂 It would be interesting to see what you would officially come out as. And we need to Skype again…

      Thank you for your prayers; I hope things continue to get better too. 🙂

      ~Jamie

  2. Something weird is happening with your blog. Your sidebar has disappeared and the entire blog is wider. I am not sure if it is just my computer or something is wrong with your blog, but I wanted to let you know.

    Thanks for following me on Printerest. 🙂

    I am the type of person that is prepared for anything like being unable write blog posts for a few weeks, hence all the drafts. But a lot of those drafts are literally posts that have virtually nothing other than a titled or contain outdated or useless content, on the other hand many are fully written posts. lol 😛

    Yes, we should definitely Skype again, like soon. 😀

    -James

    1. Thanks for letting me know; that is strange. It looks fine over here, but I shall go check on a different computer and see if it’s happening over there too…

      Ahh, that makes sense. And you probably like things planned in advance which is common with the introverted personality types. 🙂

      Yes, very soon! Do you have a day within the next week are soon where you have nothing planned? We should pick a day in advance so we can plan around it for a hour (or two! :P)

      ~Jamie

  3. Yep, planning things in advance is exactly what I do, which is why I like posting my blog schedule, as well having my mental schedule always deciding when is the best time to post something.

    Will sometime this weekend work for you? I am not sure exactly when at this moment, but I have hopefully caught up enough with college to actually take a day off Saturday or Sunday! 🙂

    -James

    1. Hahaha! I think you are a lot like my sister, she likes things planned in advance with mental preparation. 😛

      I can make Saturday or Sunday work! I’ll just give my mom heads up so she doesn’t plan anything big, lol. Comment or send me a tweet when you have come up with a time that can work for you. I’m very flexible so pretty much anytime can work for me. 😀 I’m getting excited, I hope we can make this work!!!!

      ~Jamie

    1. Okay; I went to check it on Chrome up on my mom’s computer and it was wider but the sidebar was still there… So, I guess we’ll see if anyone else has a problem…

      ~Jamie

  4. It’s so good to read your post! I’m sooo sorry that I haven’t been on much. I just started college and my life is SUPER crazy right now. I’m hoping that after another week, I’ll get into the swing of things and won’t be so exhausted 😀

    IS NANO REALLY ONLY A MONTH AWAY??!!

    I’m praying for you, Jamie. Hope you have a good week! 🙂

    -Emily

    1. Emily!!!! 😀 That’s okay, I know college is a big time consumer, but a good one! 🙂

      I KNOW, I’M PANICKING SO BADLY I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M GOING TO DO. THIS TIME LAST YEAR I ALREADY HAD MOST OF MY BOOK FIGURED OUT! AAAAH!

      Thanks for your prayers!! 🙂

      ~Jamie

  5. I’m an…INJF, I think? I have trouble remembering 😛

    NaNoWriMo! Good luck with that! I tried it one year, but trying to write to a deadline frustrated me much more than it helped. So now, I have tremendous respect for anybody who says, “I will try to get x number of words written today! and tomorrow! and the day after!”

    I’m sorry to hear about your dad. Kudos to you for standing up to him, and for recognizing the difficulties he’s cast in your way. And y’know what? You are made in the image of God. Keep on truckin’!

    1. Haha, I’m glad you’ve taken the test, it can be so helpful! 🙂

      Awww, well, some people just aren’t wired for deadlines. I’ve done NaNo twice and won both times but by the end my creative juices have been sapped completely away and I end up not writing for several months on end. Which isn’t the greatest. But that’s just how I’m wired too. 😛

      Thank you for your support!!! That really helped make my day!

      ~Jamie

  6. Hey, about a good time to Skype. I just found out that Thursday might be a good day if you are not busy. Anytime between 1:00 and 4:00 (your time) would work for me since it will be after I finish college work for that day. If not, we can try another day. 🙂

    -James

    1. Oooh, I actually don’t have anything to do on Thursdays so that’s perfect. How about at 2:00 in the afternoon (my time)? That would be perfect!

      ~Jamie

      1. I think that would be 5:00 my time, so yeah, perfect, that time should work! Also, your blog appears to only be missing the sidebar when I internet explorer, but it works fine on Firefox and Google Chrome, so I will just use those.

        -James

      2. Okay, sounds perfect! Can’t wait to talk to you then!

        How strange about Internet Explorer, but I have always had problems with them. 😦

        ~Jamie

  7. Hi Jamie! Sorry I didn’t get around to commenting yesterday…I meant to! I just wanted to say a few things…

    One. I love following you on Tumblr and Twitter!!! Your posts make me giggle. I still don’t feel like I have the best grip on Tumblr but I’m getting the hang of it. It’s a good place for me to satisfy the Inner Nerd. Hehe. I just need to follow more people and it seems difficult to find clean blogs.

    Two. I started following some of your boards on Pinterest, and have especially enjoyed the Sherlock board…I pin Sherlock stuff for my sister all the time now!

    Three. The first way to recover from being depressed is to acknowledge that you’re depressed! My mom usually has to tell me, “Maribeth, you’re stressed,” because otherwise I wouldn’t know and I just make myself upset and physically ill (for real). You’re right: discovering the problem gives you the chance to start fixing it. Delight yourself in the Lord, make thankful lists, keep enjoying Kayla and Nathan and confiding in your mom. I’ll be praying for you!

    P.S. I did the Myers-Briggs personality test but I did it on the Internet, so my results probably aren’t as trustworthy as yours…but I came out as an INTJ. Introverted Intuitive Thinking Judgment. AKA Perfectionist Bookworm, LOL 😉 It’s very interesting!

    1. That’s okay, thanks for commenting today.

      It took me a little while to get used to Tumblr too; and it is the perfect place to splash around with your favorite fandoms! 😛

      Thanks for following me on Pinterest, I shall have to look at your boards in return!

      Thank you so much for your sweet encouragement!!! This really helped encourage me this morning!!! *Hugs*

      It’s probably not super accurate but it’s close enough to give you a good idea about yourself if you don’t already. 😀

      ~Jamie

  8. Yes, I missed you Jamie!!!!!! 🙂
    I’m so sorry stuff has been so tough for you lately. I’m no good at saying helpful things written down, in real life I tend to just hug people a lot. So consider yourself tightly hugged. 🙂
    xx

It always makes my day to see your messages! Don't forget to check back, I try to write back to you too! <3

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s