because sarcasm is wonderful


Because Prince Charming can’t always be there to catch you during emergencies. Sometimes there’s only God and gravity.

Because sooner of later all our sins find us out….

My life’s plot, so far, has been pretty much a comedy because I’m a socially awkward penguin… and the plot has taken several very scary, emotionally difficult twists…. and the cast is changing just about every six years, but it’s kinda okay, because each time it’s gets a little better. :D

Yes. That is why I’m sarcastic. All other alternatives are illegal.

Yes. When you first meet me, I will be very quiet and controlled and will seem shy. But as many of my old friends found out, I was really just waiting before I revealed my killer sense of hilarity and all my comedic relief. We even had friends who told me and also Kayla, “When we first met you, you thought you two were quiet and shy and everything. Boy, were we wrong!”

This is basically me to every single person who has ever picked on my little sister (and I once, I’m now ashamed to say, punched someone in the face because they were teasing her–they weren’t intentionally trying to be mean though, which is why I’m sorry I did it. It is something I’d rather like to forget but apparently Kayla thinks it’s the most wonderful thing ever… so I get reminded of it a lot.  :-\ )

Because everybody needs a chance to pound something with a bat and then run around snatching up hand fulls of candy afterwards. I bet we could put psychologists out of practice doing this…. and keep dentists in practice. 

Let’s give Miss Portman a very huge round of applause. ^My sentiments exactly. Thank you very much, Miss Portman! Thank you very much.

One time Mom and I went to have lunch at Pei Wei’s and I was sitting our table and the people next to us were babbling something about the Avengers and I ended up staring at them for the rest of the conversation…. I’m not sure if they noticed I was wearing a Captain America shirt or not though…

Somehow, this post turned into, “Jamie tells her awkward life stories hour.”

Oh well.

It couldn’t have been avoided.

~Jamie

15 thoughts on “because sarcasm is wonderful

  1. So very funny! The ones with “I need to talk to you” and giving your mental opinion on a stranger’s conversation are both so relatable…I’m repeatedly guilty of both XD Oh, and let me start the round of thunderous applause for Miss Portman!!

  2. *continues round of applause for Nat Port* Awww that’s a awwwwesome quote!!!!
    I SO GOSH DARN LOVE THESE! They’re more than perfect! I was laughing out loud really hard and I probably would of laughed so imaturely if dad hadn’t been walking around near by. :P ROFL! These and your comments are soo hilarious!!!
    #1668 IS SOOOOO OH OH OH Me! :P As Moriah can testify. :P LOL!
    And the one about cast and plot is cool, cuz it’s like filmish. XD My life’s film been different than yours, I think. XD
    *hugs* Thanks for punching kids who have been mean to me. I love you. Now please, punch yourself. :D See? I can use sarcasm too! :P ROFL!

  3. I love ‘em!!! :D Punching someone in the face… I don’t think I’ll regret it since your sis is happy :) You guys get along much more than me and my bro. Natalie Portman’s quote is just how I am :)))

    • Lol, I feel bad because our friendship basically ended right there… and she was basically my only ‘friend’ from the church we were attending. But, yeah, I’m glad it at least made Kayla feel better. lol

      ~Jamie

  4. Can I say I love your sense of humor? The “I need to talk to you” is one I can relate to 100%, so it made my morning just reading that.
    In my life, sometimes I think I just got about 2 pages of script and I’m ready to start shooting, when suddenly the pages disintegrate and God brings in a whole new set – plus, at least a dozen cameos turn out to be the main protagonists!

    • Hi, and thanks!!! I’m glad I was able to make your morning!!!!!

      And, yes, I totally know what that feels like! Our lives are just never like the movies with everything always getting shuffled around! But, maybe that can be a good thing. :D

      ~Jamie

  5. Oh yes. I love the shy one. Because I’m really shy and quiet around people I don’t know, or aren’t comfortable around. And then I hang out with my best friends and become insanse :D I saw a poster that describes me PERFECTLY : People who don’t know me think I’m quiet. People who do know me wish I was. lol

    And sorry I haven’t commented in a while–I’ve been sick the past few weeks :/

    • Hi Emily! I’m glad to hear from you and I’m sorry to hear you’ve been sick! :( That’s the worst; I hope you’re feeling recovered! :D

      Oh yes, I love that statement! It’s soooo true! I concur about being quiet when not comfortable. I’m a really outgoing person, but when I’m around a lot of people I don’t know, I find it smart just to stay quiet and ‘feel the waters’ before I trust them too much. It can just be… more safe that way. :D

      ~Jamie

  6. I thoroughly enjoyed this. Like a lot. Haha I have been that quiet socially awkward kid in the corner with a Bible for all my life, but this year, meeting a few Christians like myself and interacting more with my peers, I’m sure everyone has totally noticed the dramatic change in my demeanor. Haha I am called ‘weird’, ‘psychotic’, ‘insane’, and ‘brilliant’ at least three times a day!!! (That last one might just be wishful thinking). I loved all of these, they made me smile and laugh and giggle and nod my head rapidly :D

    • LOL, I’ve never had the pleasure of being called psychotic but I get called ‘nuts’ ‘crazy’ ‘a riot’ ‘comedic relief’ and ‘hilarious’ quite often! :)

      ~Jamie

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