life is what you make it

Sometimes life sucks. And then sometimes it’s really awesome.  The saying “life is what you make it” is often very true but then in other ways I can’t control everything that happens to me. Really bad things happen, and they drag out for over a few years with months where things are just really emotional and stressful and then it slows down you’re able to relax for a moment.

2011 was full of angst, verbal abuse, loosing old friends, making new friends, tears, and Star Wars but pretty much disaster. 2012 the roller coaster slowed down a bit; full of reading, writing, finishing school, struggling to mend as a family, the Avengers and hopes. Now we are nearly through the first month of 2013 and I see the roller coaster speeding up with lots of big, scary drops ahead of me, with a lot more tears, a lot more emotional pain, a huge looming fear of loosing the new friends I’ve only just made and a lot more scarring that will be left on top of old wounds that still haven’t healed completely. It’s really scary.

But at the same time, I really want to try to remain the happy me. Life isn’t always what you make it but it will always be miserable if you let it squash you. Today I took another step in keeping me head above the water, in trying to set an example of strength and cheerfulness to my siblings by saying that, yes, life is hard now but we can still have fun, we have to move on and not sit in a tub of tears unable to smile.

Today, I learned how to moonwalk. Yes, that funny walk that looks like your walking normal but you’re going backwards–this is the tutorial I watched to learn if you are interested, it’s actually very easy to understand. Why is learning to moonwalk important to me? Because it’s something new, something fun, something that you only see the ‘cool people’ able to do. It’s a distraction and it makes me smile. Because in some small ways, life is what you make it.

It’s only something small but it helps. What are the small things you do to make your day better?

~Jamie

P.S. thank you so much for your prayers and many comments on my last post, everyone, they were very encouraging to both me and Kayla and also my Mom! We are no where out of the darkness yet so please keep up the prayers! They are so appreciated, it makes me feel better to know my friends across the country are there for me!

…because I felt like saying thank you…

Thank you Kayla for letting me put your hair up—and you actually liked it! See, Big Sisters do know what their doing sometimes.

Thank you all you bloggers whom I’ve noticed have actually put their auto-playlists off auto. I rarely hit a blog now where the music scares me to mars.

Thank you Princess for purring for me every time I look at you, you’re such a good kitty.

Thank you Avengers for being the coolest movie in the universe.

Thank you party-planner lady for being really sweet at the rental place.

Thank you Dylan for always talking to me and actually being my friend. And for reading books with me. I can’t wait to start The Legend of Sleepy Hollow with you.

Thank you DVD company for not making the “Murder, She Wrote” DVD’s double sided anymore.

Thank you all my writing friends who have put me on their NaNo buddy lists this year! I have double the amount of friends I did last year. I will have to work hard between writing my story and NaNoMailing you all!

Thank you hair for cooperating with me the past week. Do not be fussy on my party day.

Thank you Mrs T for those doughnuts.

Thank you all my blog friends who comment and make me smile and feel special.

Thank you Fry’s Marketplace for having the perfect lipstick.

Thank you God for all your blessings, big and small.

~Jamie

Yep, that’s me and that’s my voice

If you’ve ever wanted to hear my voice…. or just see me in a video, now is your chance.

My sister has been working on a video that we made a month or so ago and she’s finally posted it in two parts on You Tube for a limited time for her friends to see. If you’ve not seen them yet, you’ll want to go watch them now by clicking the links below.

We were trying to make an interview, but it’s really not an interview. It’s… Kayla asking random questions (or saying she can’t think of any good questions) and me sitting in front of the camera looking like a derp and trying to answer all the odd questions that she does ask.

Part One: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGauYGTryyo

Part Two: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5o96LZFtXtE

If you guys watch it, leave a comment and let me know!

Oh, there are a few shout outs to a few of the followers that popped into my head at the moment. (Savanna and Fallon, I know you’re mentioned more than once in both parts!)

I now am going into hiding. *grin*

~Jamie

Sisters are Forever

My sister Kayla turns sixteen today; we’re so excited to have a fun day to celebrate together as a family.

I thought I could write a post about all the wonderful things about Kayla, but since that turned out cheesy, I ended spilling my emotional guts out here on why Kayla is my one of my only friends—of my entire LIFE. (this is mostly for her anyway. )

Kayla is the closest and dearest friend I have.

Outside of our cousins, neither of us were close to other children our ages when we were younger. We didn’t attend Sunday School like most kids, so we were distant from the children our age and it was hard to be more than mere acquaintances. I said I had friends, but when I look back now, it was all nothing very real. We were ‘friends’ because we attend the same church week after week, month after month, year after year. It was shallow friendships. All I really had was Kayla.

The same was with our home-school group. My one cousin Ben hung out with the boys more, so I bonded even tighter with Kayla and cousin Bethany. I made no real ‘friends’ there either, mostly because it’s hard to find things in common when I wasn’t allowed to do or watch the same things that they were and when their families had different standards (some of the kids were also absolute horrors, and that didn’t help either). I was shy and awkward. All I really had was Kayla.

Even moving to a new church proved very difficult; we were supposed to stay near Mom and Dad, and even though I’d turned twelve, I was still distant from the kids there for much of the same reasons above (I did make one true friend that first year; even though she moved away, we’ve still kept in touch over the past five years.) I was still awkward and kept at the back of the packs for several years, always kinda on ‘the outside’. It was hard to be friends with people when we lived far away and when our family couldn’t stay as long to really fellowship with everyone. Our family was even growing apart from our cousins, who, up until than, had also always been there. All I really had was Kayla.

During the last year at that church, attendance went down and the two of us were finally able to bond with several of the girls but it seemed like our true friendship had just started when we had to change churches again (this was just over a year ago). I really hated this cycle. It seemed like just when we were making even a little headway in gaining friends, we were put into a different situation and we had to start all over. Each time round I felt myself pulling more inward and not wanting the change. I was tired of not really having friends

It was at that time that I really realized that my sister was the only one who would ever still be there for me when the times got tough. We’ve been together for all our lives and we probably will remain together for the rest of them; we’ve made it through happy times and the hard times, small and great. So, no matter how many more times we have to be juggled around, at least I will always have Kayla.

Because sisters are forever.

I don’t know what I would do without you! Happy birthday, sissy.

~Jamie

Photo Copyright, you can’t claim this awesome editing!

Kayla (Cowgirl and Agent)

I’m feeling horrible today with a cough and congestion, so I don’t feel at all up to building a film score Friday. I’m releasing this post early instead.

A part of the deal behind my Deputy Penny Percival photo shoot was that I would take pictures of Kayla in her own photo shoot. She chose to go cowboy and we did it in the backyard. I’m actually pretty pleased with how they came out and I enjoyed processing them later. I also included recent shots I got of her this past week as well in her trench coat attire. So, here’s my best friend and lil sis.

Kayla is actually pretty photogenic, even though she normally is the one taking the pictures around here. I especially like how she’s grown out her bangs for a more ‘grown up’ look. Her cowboy outfit consisted of cowboy boots, jeans, jean shirt, cowboy hat, belt, holster, handgun and rifle.

Here she is in her trench coat attire–I don’t know what else to call it–which we shot in an alley/waterway at the bottom of our cul-de-sac.

I’m very proud of this picture. I love processing pictures to look like this. I was able to nearly wipe out the entire school building in the background!!!!

My personal favorite from the Trench Coat batch.

So that sums up what little photography I’ve managed over the last week. Would y’all be a dear and leave a comment telling Kayla which picture from each photo shoot is your favorite? I think she’d love that! Thanks.

~Jamie